I will
shamelessly piggyback on Sharon's lovely post from earlier this week, about
family photos. I am thanking my lucky
stars that no one in my family was quite so obsessive about cataloguing our
family on either side, because we fall far short of her tens of thousands of
images. Of course, that's a mixed
blessing, because there isn't much for me to look at going back.
My engineer
father was the primary photographer in my family (my mother professed an
aversion to all things mechanical). That
does not mean my father was particularly good at taking pictures. He wasn't documenting anything. He often preferred artsy scenes of sunrise to
family groups. And when he did take
pictures with people in them, he had a persistent habit of focusing on their
faces, which means that people's feet are often cut off, and we get a great
view of the ceiling in a lot of places.
I do understand—I have to fight the same tendency myself, because it
seems almost rude not to "look" people in the eye when you're taking
their picture.
Recently I
was asked to submit a short essay for an anthology whose proceeds (if it's
published) will go toward rebuilding the Jersey Shore, hard hit by Hurricane
Sandy. Since a lot of my happiest early
memories go back to Long Beach Island, I was glad to participate. Of course the first thing I did was to go
searching for the photographs from that era, which proved to be challenging. We
had 8-mm movies (I have those, and the projector and screen to show them, not
that I ever do) and snapshots, and by our last years there I had a camera too,
and took my own clutch of bad pictures.

But I
wasn't making a picture book; I was looking for images to trigger my own
memories. There weren't many photos, but
there were enough. I was pleased that
the pictures corroborated what I recalled:
those were happy days. No
television allowed at the Shore, so I read—that's when I got into Nancy
Drew. Nobody back then worried about skin
cancer, so we spent long hours on the beach, coming back bright red. I spent a lot of quality time with my father,
and he taught me how to body-surf. I
can't catch a wave now without thinking of him.
We drank brightly-colored nameless sodas and we ate a lot of
lobster. I collected shells, and once I
found the carcass of a horseshoe crab (which my mother wouldn't let me keep).
One time after an overnight storm I railed against the trash that had washed up
on the beach (luckily in those days we didn't even know about medical waste),
and marveled that by the next day it had disappeared as quickly as it had come.
Nobody
labeled the pictures, so I had to do some guessing about when they were taken. Luckily back in those days Kodak printed the
date on the processed photos, so that helped a little. We didn't entertain a lot, so there aren't
many mystery faces to puzzle over.
Once, many
years ago in France, I spent an afternoon sitting on a family's shaded lawn,
and the entertainment consisted of pulling out boxes of family photographs and
postcards, handing them around, and commenting on them. I wasn't related to that family in any way,
but they assumed I would be want to be included, and in a way I was. People should do more of that. We should share pictures not merely to
identify who the smiling faces are, but to recall the events they depict and
the memories they evoke. That's how we
keep our families alive.