Etiquette for Authors

by Sandra Parshall

Ever get the feeling that your self-promotion is annoying people rather than enticing them to read your books? How much is too much?

Do you wonder what – if anything – you should do when you get a conference panel assignment that’s totally wrong for you?

Do you wish you knew the secret to getting book blurbs from writers you admire?

We addressed these questions and more in a program on author etiquette at last Saturday’s meeting of the Sisters in Crime Chesapeake Chapter. Writer Donna Andrews (the Meg Langslow mysteries), bookseller Eileen McGervey of One More Page in Arlington, VA, John Betancourt of Wildside Press, and I made up the informal panel, with Malice Domestic programmer Barb Goffman offering advice about conferences and other chapter members chiming in. I’ll summarize a few of the topics we discussed. Don’t take it as a personal insult when I use the pronoun “you” to refer to all writers. However, if the shoe fits...

Writers marketing mostly to other writers: This bad habit, fostered by the internet, doesn't do much to build your readership.

Most mystery authors participate on multiple listservs for writers. When you post the same news on all of them at the same time, we’re going to get a little tired of seeing it. We probably won’t mind if it’s the happy news of a sale, something your fellow authors can enjoy celebrating with you. But if you’re doing a 30-day blog tour, think twice before you post a notice every single day on every writers’ list you belong to. As chief moderator of the Sisters in Crime national listserv for seven years, I’ve received many private complaints about this sort of thing. Yes, technically it’s allowed under the rules. But when other members are begging the moderator to shut you up, you are not making a good impression.

Writers are readers too. But we shouldn’t be the primary objects of your promotion efforts. Other writers are your professional colleagues. We don’t want to be bombarded with your sales pitches on lists where we go for support and information about professional matters.

So where can you reach readers? Facebook, GoodReads and Twitter are the most popular venues at the moment – but all are rigged with pitfalls for writers. Again, overdoing the hard sell will work against you with your followers. Facebook is a social networking site, and while readers will “like” your author page and “friend” you on your profile page if they’re interested in your writing, they want you to talk about other things too. They want to hear about your pets, about funny experiences you’ve had, about the terrific book (by someone else) you’ve just finished reading and the movie you saw over the weekend. Then when you have a new book coming out, or you’re appearing at an event, you can announce it without fear of a negative reaction. If you use GoodReads, be sure you know the etiquette of this somewhat tricky site, and remember that it’s a place for readers to talk about books with other readers, not a place for writers to hawk their own books. 

Social networking is an art, and some writers hate it or can’t get the hang of it, but if you know how to do it right, it will help you sell books in the long run. (I happen to love Facebook, by the way. Please feel free to send me a friend request and to like my Sandra Parshall Books page. But I have made my share of cringe-worthy faux pas there and probably offended any number of people without even realizing I've done it.)

Other obnoxious forms of self-promotion: Be careful about pressing your promotional materials, unsolicited, into the hands of strangers in public places, hospital waiting rooms, doctors’ offices, etc. Some people may be delighted, but others will be offended. You don’t know these people. You don’t know what kind of mood they’re in, what the state of their health is, what’s happening in their lives and what worries are preying on their minds. You might not get the reaction you’re hoping for when you intrude and try to sell them something.

Ask permission before leaving your promotional material in other people’s professional offices. Most libraries also want you to ask permission before leaving anything. Some libraries don’t allow authors to put out bookmarks, cards, etc., and if you do it without so much as asking, you’re making enemies on that library’s staff.

Remember that nobody cares about your new book the way you do. Not even your mother. Not even your spouse. If your book is all you ever talk about, if you’re selling every waking second, wherever you are, people will start avoiding you.

Bookseller contacts: Eileen pointed out the all too common error of e-mailing to request a bookstore event and referring the bookseller to your Amazon page for more information. In case you haven’t heard, booksellers regard Amazon as an arch rival.

Bookstore events are unpredictable – even bestselling authors talk about signings where three people showed up, or none at all. Some major publishers have decided book tours are a waste of time and money. Discuss your ideas for promoting the event with the bookseller and decide whether it’s likely to be successful for both of you.

Book clubs: The book discussion groups Eileen hosts at One More Page welcome author participation in person, by Skype or telephone. If you make yourself personally available to book clubs, those groups will be more likely to choose one of your books for discussion.

Requesting blurbs from other authors: Donna made the point that you should stay within your subgenre. Don’t ask an author of humorous cozies, like Donna, to blurb your gritty thriller. Ask a writer whose own work appeals to the audience you’re trying to reach. Be polite in your approach and remember that you're asking for a big favor; no busy author owes you the chunk of time required to read your book and produce a blurb. If your request is turned down, accept the rejection with good grace and understanding, then move on to someone else. Don’t rant about it on your Facebook page, naming the author and calling him/her an idiot.

The more books you publish and the more conferences you attend, the larger your circle of writer friends and acquaintances will be. It’s easier to ask for a blurb from someone you’ve met personally and whose own books have something in common with theirs.

Submissions to publishers and agents: John Betancourt’s Wildside Press sometimes receives submissions that lack crucial details – such as the author’s contact information. This guarantees that you won’t receive a response, and it marks you as an amateur. Be professional in all your dealings with publishers and agents, submitting clean, properly formatted material, described and categorized in your cover letter, along with your postal, e-mail, and website addresses. If someone asks for an exclusive reading, agree on a time limit that won’t leave you hanging endlessly. Again, don't rant publicly about rejections.

Conferences: Barb Goffman, who has been program chair for Malice Domestic for several years, assured us that programmers for the various mystery conferences do talk to each other and they do discuss the authors who act like prima donnas.

So what should you do if you write dark, gritty mysteries and you’ve been assigned to a panel aimed at fans of lighthearted cozies? Tell the programmer right away that you wouldn’t be comfortable on the panel, Barb advised – but be polite about it. Don’t be angry that the programmer hasn’t had time to read everything you’ve ever written, and don’t fire off an accusatory e-mail. “Tone is everything,” Barb said. A polite and timely request for a change will almost certainly be honored. If you’ve been on one too many panels about a particular topic, point that out in your author questionnaire when you register, and suggest other topics you would prefer.

Don’t make your travel arrangements until you have your program assignment, so you won’t have to turn down a panel because you have a non-refundable plane ticket and must leave before the panel takes place. If you do make your reservations early, or you have discovered that no airline has flights to your hometown on Sunday afternoon, make sure the programmer knows when you have to leave. Conference programmers are not mindreaders.

If you accept a panel, give it your all. Those people in the audience want to be entertained. They want you to be enthusiastic and down to earth. They want to like you, and if they do, they will be curious about your books. Answer every question as if you’ve never heard it before and think it’s absolutely brilliant. Don’t hog the microphone, or cut off other panelists, or act bored or condescending, or turn all your answers into a hard sell for your books. Don’t show up drunk. (It happens, and it’s not cute or funny.) Audience members notice bad behavior, and they’ll dislike you for it.

Guest blogging: Most bloggers will be happy to host you – if you make a request rather than a demand, if you make the request well in advance, if you produce original, entertaining material (not something you posted elsewhere two years ago), if you avoid doing a hard sell, and you turn it in on time and in pristine condition, with no typos and no weird formatting that has to be manually removed. Remember that many blogs, including Poe’s Deadly Daughters, schedule guests months in advance.

Don’t ask for a guest slot, then promptly forget about it. Learn how to use a calendar. The blog owner has reserved space for you, and you have an obligation to fill it. Send in your guest blog a week or more ahead of the date it’s scheduled to run.

Writers with traditional publishers should realize that their publicists often have no clue about the way blogs function. This is equally true of publicists with both small and large presses. Those of us at PDD often receive e-mails from publicists who want to schedule guest blogs on short notice, as little as a week or two. Publicists also have an annoying habit of insisting that everything go through them, with no direct contact between blog host and guest author. And some publicists seem to think they’re doing the blog owners a favor, instead of the other way around. It’s usually best for writers to make their own guest blogging arrangements and do it well in advance.

Our chapter members probably could have talked for another couple of hours about the etiquette of being a professional writer, especially as it relates to online activities. The internet has been both a blessing and a curse, offering us many new ways to promote our books while multiplying our chances of offending both readers and other writers and magnifying our every mistake.

What advice would you add to this list?

If you’re a writer, what mistakes have you made that still embarrass you? (Come on, ’fess up. We all have stories like that.)

If you’re a reader, what writerly behavior has annoyed you? And which writers do you consider gracious and pleasant?

Promotion--The Sequel

by Sheila Connolly

Four years ago, a month or so before my first book came out, I wrote a post for the now defunct blog Writers Plot, about what little I knew about promotion. In advance of the publication of my eleventh book next week (Fire Engine Dead), I thought I'd revisit the topic, to see what I may have learned in those four years.

In 2008 I created a formula for deciding what promotion any individual writer should do. Let's see how well that stands up! (Original bits in italics)

There are many, many sources for information on what to do to promote your book, your series, yourself. Books, blogs, loops, websites, consultants--you name it, they're happy to tell you what you need to do. The problem is, they don't all agree.

Well, that hasn't changed too much. I should have included agents and publicists, not to mention the ubiquitous Joe Konrath.

Let's assume you have a published book in hand and you want people to buy it. Let us also assume your goal is to sell as many books as possible, so that your publisher is happy and you can keep writing books.

Okay, that's still true, sort of. Except now the publisher is not the controlling factor. You now have the capability to publish through a small press (an ever-growing number) or even go straight to electronic publishing yourself. You have more choices than you did four years ago. Whether that's good or bad, for either the writer or the reader, is still up in the air.

But whatever medium or vehicle you choose, you still may need to promote yourself and your book(s). So here's the formula from 2008:

T + M + W + E = PromoScore


To explain:


Time (T). First, set aside time for writing. Then figure out what time you have to allow for (a) a job, (b) a family, and (c) eating and sleeping. What's left is T, your time for promotion.


Money (M). If you don't have a trust fund or a rich spouse, you need to decide what you want to spend on promotion. Assign an amount of money M that you are willing to put into each kind of marketing for your book.

The core list of promotional efforts is fairly consistent among the "experts": set up websites and blogs and pages in the "social networks" such as MySpace [substitute FaceBook and Twitter here]; participate in writers and readers loops; attend conferences; arrange book signings; buy ads in industry publications; seek out interesting alternative venues (knitting stores, hairdressers, horse shows) that tie into your work; contact local libraries and newspapers. You will notice these vary widely in T and M requirements.

All of these are still possibilities, although some have emerged as more effective than others.


Willingness (W). Lots of writers are shy and solitary, so this is an important consideration, and you can't just ignore it. How much do you like or hate each activity, on a scale from one to ten? Call this W for willingness. You hate large groups? Then conferences get a 2. You love blogging? Give that an 8.


This is something I think a lot of writers overlook. For example, All your friends tell you that you have to spend time on Facebook, connecting with your readers. You hate Facebook. Therefore you would give it a low W score (you don't have to tell your well-meaning friends). Remember, this is a comparative number.

Exposure (E). How many people can you reach with each type of effort?

Tens? Hundreds? Thousands? If you love talking to book clubs but only six people attend, is that a good use of your resources?


Put together the variables: T (time), M (money), W (willingness) and E (exposure) and you get the equation:
 

T + M + W + E = PromoScore

Apply this formula to each of your promotional opportunities. Give each a score, and then rank them and figure out what you think will give you the results you want: sales. Without losing your sanity.

So what do I think, four years later? Having tried (in no particular order) blogging (four different blogs), conferences, paid ads, library and bookstore talks, Facebook, a website, writers groups, and sweet-talking a widely-varied group of vendors to please, please carry at least one of my books?

I still think the formula works. You're one person and you can't do everything, so you have to find a way to decide which ones will be most effective—for you. Guess what: people still don't know what actually works. The most consistently-cited factor is word of mouth, but that still assumes that you can get your book into the hands of someone who will like it and will tell their friends about it. So never be shy about talking about your writing—you're still your best promoter for your own work.

And don't forget Fire Engine Dead! An arsonist targets a Philadelphia fireman's museum...but what was the real target?

The Literary Thong

Elizabeth Zelvin

My short story, “Death Will Tank Your Fish,” appears along with twenty-one others in the anthology, Murder New York Style: Fresh Slices. The contributors are all members of the New York/Tristate chapter of Sisters in Crime (one of them, Ken Wishnia, a Mister Sister). Quite a few of us were present at a chapter meeting at which the speaker was a highly motivated PR person who encouraged us to come up with fresh ideas for promoting our work. She was pleased to hear that the anthology’s publisher, L&L Dreamspell, had linked the book to Café Press, which sells promotional materials with any logo or slogan you like. But her face didn’t really light up until she heard about the thong with the row of pizzas across the minuscule front that the site was offering along with more conventional items such as mugs and T-shirts. Then she started talking big. “Contact The New Yorker!” she said. “It’s exactly the kind of story they’d like for Talk of the Town.” In fact, she offered to pitch it for us.


The thong with the row of pizzas seems to have disappeared—sold out, perhaps?—but an equally skimpy thong that displays the book cover (including the pizzas) is still available.

It has a little less pizzazz, but maybe it will still sell books. The product blurb enthuses:


Panty-minimalists love our casual thong that covers sweet spots without covering your assets; putting an end to panty-lines. This under-goodie is "outta sight" in low-rise pants. Toss these message panties onstage at your favorite rock star or share a surprise message with someone special ... later.

What does this have to do with mysteries? Not much. Few of this anthology’s authors, if any, are of an age or figure to be seen or photographed in such a garment. But evidently, little as it has to do with writing, this is what you have to do to get attention for your book in twenty-two-dozen, as a friend of mine calls the new year.


Seems like the way to sell a book these days has to do with anything but writing or being a writer. The week I’m writing this, the top ten New York Times bestsellers in fiction include two by Stieg Larsson (the guy whose untimely demise worked PR miracles, selling better than ever since the movies are coming out), one by James Patterson, known for what he calls “team writing,” one by Tom Clancy with Mark Greaney (evidently another veteran bestseller who doesn’t write his own books any more), Kathryn Stockett’s The Help, a fine first novel that deserves its success, but I suspect this spurt is due to the movie...and the top ten nonfiction authors include a TV anchor (with co-author), “a father [who] recounts his 3-year-old son’s encounter with Jesus and the angels” (with co-author), a star quarterback (with co-author), a, hmm, conservative radio host (with co-author), a Nobel Prize winning economist, and a comic actress (no co-author acknowledged, but do you really think Tina Fey wrote her own book?).


So what I want to know is this: If I bring the pizza panties to, oh, let’s say a Keith Urban concert (country, not rock, but I do think he’s sexy) and lob them at the stage...do you think he’ll buy the book?

Promotion Redux

by Sheila Connolly


I promise I'll stop obsessing about this soon, but with two books coming out in the next two months, promotion is very much on my mind.

The following was part of an email I received this week from an organization I subscribe to on line, and the header line included "Learn Essential Marketing Tools."  I was invited to participate in a series of workshops where I would learn how to:

--Develop a branding concept

--Develop an overall marketing campaign

--Understand and decide what marketing tools (web, print, etc.) best attract customers

--Learn how to plan and create the framework for your website

--Plan and create a website


All of this sounded very familiar, and I've been hearing it from publishers, agents and colleagues for years.  So why am I repeating it here?  Because this was targeted at farmers.  The email announcement came from SEMAP, the Southeastern Massachusetts Agricultural Partnership.

Yes, the workshops are all about how to market your farm business--just add "for your farm" at the end of each of the above items on the list.

And, believe it or not, this put some things in perspective for me.  Think about it:  electronic media have erased the boundaries between business sectors, and now the same strategies can be applied to mysteries and organic tomatoes.  It's kind of humbling.

But it's also an affirmation of the power of the Internet, if you know how to use it.  Think for a moment of any of the recent examples of civil unrest in various countries.  In an earlier, simpler day, despotic leaders could simply have shut down the radio and television stations and the newspaper (if they didn't already control them outright), and the general population would have had only limited knowledge of what was going on.  Now everyone seems to have a cell phone with Internet access and can post minute-by-minute reports on violence, with pictures and videos.  It's much harder to stifle a revolution these days.

Or in another case, just this past week in South Boston, close to a thousand teenagers congregated at a local beach, and--no surprise, since it was one of the first nice warm days of the year and no doubt more than one illicit substance was involved--violence broke out.  Did all these young people just happen to show up?  No.  They used Twitter and Facebook to draw people to the beach.

And then there's that hapless Congressman who's gotten into hot water about a nude photo that was sent from his Twitter account to someone inappropriate.  I don't know who was guilty of what, but listening to him sputter on camera, it was abundantly clear that he had little understanding of the impact of what had happened. (Bet you have a young aide on your staff who can explain it to you!)

It's an electronic world, and people have become accustomed to instant information.  My Luddite husband can barely dial his cellphone, but last week he spent eight hours driving to a conference with a bunch of colleagues, and any time a question came up, one or another of them would say, "let me look that up on my phone."  This isn't a novelty any more, this is the norm.



What's a writer to do?  We have to embrace ebooks, for one--and that's not easy, because the publishing universe is changing weekly, and even the major publishers are scrambling to keep up, frantically revising contract terms.  But we as individuals can't ignore the potential and the power of the Internet, or we'll be left in the dust.

NOTHING NEW UNDER THE PROMOTIONAL SUN

by Sheila Connolly

(Last Friday Blogger ate this post, along with a lot of others.  But it's no less timely this week.)


Thank you, Tony Perrottet.


Who's he, you ask?  I didn't know either, until I read his essay "Building the Brand" in the May 1 New York Times Book Review.  He's a writer with several books to his credit, the most recent of which, The Sinner's Grand Tour, came out this week. If you want more details, see http://www.tonyperrottet.com/


If you're wondering why I'm thanking him, it's because he wrote about promotion.  Now, for those of you who simply enjoy reading and aren't enmired in trying to get a book sold to a publisher and into the hands of as many readers as possible so you can do it all over again, let me tell you that promotion is the bane of our existence.  You think all you have to do is write a good book and people will flock to buy it?  Wrong. 


You write the best book you can, the publisher assembles it in whatever format, then shoves it out into the cold cruel world and tells you, "okay, now go sell it."  They may send out Advance Reader Copies or pay for bookstore placement, but it's up to you the author to drum up attention for the book.  What nobody tells you, when you are nursing that germ of a story and sending it out to agents and editors, is that promotion will eat up half your waking life, if you're lucky enough to sell it.  Personal appearances, at large and small events; bookmarks and postcards; newsletters; blogs; crazy stunts; and, yes, social networks--we are supposed to use them all, all the time.


So where does Tony fit?  In his essay he points out that this is not new.  In fact, the concept of manic promotion goes back to at least the 5th-century BC (yes, you read that right), when the Greek author Herodotus paid for his own book tour (nothing has changed) around the Aegean Sea, and was smart enough to include a stop at the Olympic Games. 


In the 12th century, the cleric Gerald of Wales put together his own book party in Oxford, where he provided his invited guests with room and board, and food and ale, for THREE DAYS, and all they had to do in exchange was listen to him recite from his books.  For three days.  Fair exchange?  (BTW, I've read his book on Ireland:  he hated the place, and all the native inhabitants, and he didn't hide the fact.)


The list goes on, and you might be surprised by some of the examples.  Guy de Maupassant hired a hot-air balloon and inscribed it with the title of his latest short story and sent it flying over Paris.  Colette created a cosmetics line (which flopped); Virginia Wolff did a fashion spread with a magazine editor.  The mystery writer Georges Simenon contracted to write a novel in three days while suspended in a glass cage outside the Moulin Rouge in Paris--with input from the audience (it didn't happen because his sponsor went bankrupt).  Walt Whitman wrote unsigned reviews of his own works (sound familiar?).

Perrottet's prime exemplar is Ernest Hemingway.  Perhaps you think of him as a terse and manly writer.  Would it disappoint you to learn that he shilled for beer ads (Ballantine Ale), Pan Am, and Parker pens?


Those of us who live in the current electronic world can moan "but what about the Internet?" That's a mixed blessing, or do I mean curse?  Using the Internet means that you can reach a lot of people very quickly.  The downside is, it never stops.  You can tweet yourself blue in the face, andTwitter is still there, hungry, waiting.


What works when you're trying to sell a book?  No one really knows.  How much is enough?  Same answer.  But we all keep trying, because we like to write books and we want people to read them.

This Is Your Brain on Facebook

Sandra Parshall

Facebook. MySpace. Twitter. Blogs. Websites. Internet listservs.

Somehow it has become an absolute necessity for writers to use them all, and use them frequently, in the hope of enticing readers to buy books. Like love-starved hermits hoping to make a human connection out there in cyberspace, we sit at our computers, tapping away, posting here and posting there, trying to hawk our books without actually sounding like we’re doing a sales job. Be interesting! Be funny! Be shocking, if you can’t be anything else! The whole point is to attract attention, make people want to know more about you — make people want to read your books.

I had a website before my first book came out. After some resistance, I joined other writers to start this blog. Heaven knows I’m on enough internet listservs. But I refuse to join MySpace, which I’ve always associated with teenagers and pedophiles. I held out against Facebook for a long time before I finally gave in recently. Twitter? No way. Okay, I have a Twitter account, I even have a couple of followers, but I have never tweeted. Not yet.

It’s astonishing how obsessed writers have become, in such a short time, with creating a “cyber presence” that readers will encounter at every click of the mouse or touch of a mobile device keypad. Look at the numbers, though, and you’ll understand why that potential audience is irresistible.

Try to absorb this fact (gleaned from the January/February issue of Scientific American Mind magazine): If Facebook were a nation, it would be the fourth most populous country in the world. (The U.S. is the third.) With more than 250 million members on every continent, six-year-old Facebook is way ahead of the older MySpace, which has 125 million users. Twitter has millions of users, but every source I’ve consulted gives a different figure. Is it only seven million or is it 75 million? Whatever — a lot of people are tweeting and following, and writers see them all as potential book-buyers. Facebook seems an especially promising source of new readers, because its fastest-growing membership segment is the 40 to 60-plus age group, more likely than the kids to spend money on books.

But does it work? Considering how much time social networking eats up, is this an efficient way for writers to reach readers? In the short time I’ve been on Facebook, I’ve noticed that most of the messages being exchanged are between writers who know each other — friends chatting about their daily lives. Most writers who have both personal Facebook pages and fan pages have a lot more friends than fans. Even in a universe as vast as Facebook, writers have formed an insular little society of their own. Facebook seems to serve the same purpose in writers’ lives that internet listservs do: providing relief from the isolation of writing. Anytime we feel the need, we can reach out and make contact online, tell somebody what we’re doing or thinking, find out what they’re up to (not much, usually).

In the latest issue of Publishers Weekly, nonfiction author Melinda Blau writes about her own experience with using social media for book promotion and confesses that, like many writers, she let it spiral out of control and take over her life. All her time online hyping her book hasn’t led to fame and fortune. Time to quit, she says. But she’s not giving up social networking entirely. She’ll do it just for fun now, not for book promotion.

I’m torn between wanting to do everything I possibly can to make readers aware of my new book (the title is Broken Places, and it’s out in February, in case you haven’t heard) and feeling a little desperate about spending time online when I could be writing. Because I’ve always been shy, online socializing and promotion has an undeniable allure. Where to draw the line is the question.

Are sites like Facebook useful only for socializing, or do they help writers find readers? What do you think? Have you ever bought a book because you “met” the writer on Facebook or MySpace? If you’re a writer, do you think social networking has helped you increase sales?

Selling Books in a Changing World

By Ellen Crosby (Guest blogger)

New year, new book. For the fourth year in a row, the first Tuesday in August is mine--the day Scribner, my publisher, officially releases The Riesling Retribution, latest book in my mystery series set in Virginia wine country.

I’m not the only writer in the country with an August 4 pub date, though it’s nice to feel unique for a day, especially that little heart-flip the first time I see my book actually on bookstore shelves. Truth be told, I’m in first-rate company for the entire month, joining fellow mystery writers like Charles Todd, Marcus Sakey, Dan Fesperman, Marcia Talley, and Jeff Deaver (among others) who will be hitting the road visiting a bookstore near you. But how will you hear about us?

Last year my local events would have been billboarded in the calendar of The Washington Post Book World. First thing I turned to every Sunday morning over a cup of coffee: Who’s in town? Now it’s gone. I freelanced for the Post for a couple of years so that loss really hurt. More Post hemorrhaging followed, with buyouts accepted by some of the paper’s most famous names, by-lines gone for good. My former editor left two years ago for a research foundation. (Why did he do it when he didn’t want to leave? “Next time they might not offer me money.”) I met Marie Arana, former Book World editor, at the Annapolis Book Festival—she’s now at the Library of Congress. Their gain; our loss.

How many newspapers have folded their tents or jettisoned their book review sections? A story on NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” discussed the slow death of book reviews—back in 2007. As for newspapers, there’s a list on a cheery website called Newspaper Death Watch. In the past year we’ve lost the print editions of the Detroit News/Detroit Free Press, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, and—one I truly lament—The Christian Science Monitor. Gone for good: Rocky Mountain News and the Baltimore Examiner. The Boston Globe is on the skids. I’ve only named the big guys, but trust me, it’s a much longer list.

On to bookstores, but first please put away any sharp objects. Just in the mid-Atlantic region, we lost Mystery Loves Company in Baltimore, as well as Olsson’s and Trover’s, two beloved Washington, D.C. landmarks. One stop on my book tour is a “favorite authors” final farewell signing at Creatures ’n Crooks in Richmond, which closes its doors on September 30. I promised to go if there weren’t too many tears. (She wouldn’t promise; I’m stocking up on tissues). As I write this yet another bookstore, Kate’s Mystery Books in Boston, will close on August 1.

Is it just me, or is the drumbeat growing louder for doing away with quaint twentieth century customs like reading newspapers, buying books in bookstores, and turning actual pages instead of pressing a button? What’s going to replace the institutions we’re dismantling at the giddy pace of kids leveling a sand castle? The front page of the business section of the July 22 New York Times (yes, the print edition!) featured a story called “Musician, Market Yourself.” It spoke about doing away with “the old model of doing things” as musicians create their own direct links to audiences over the Internet.

Ditto the book world. Like it or not, we’re all becoming cottage industry promoters, each of us tooting his or her own horn on individual websites, blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. Is it better, worse, or just new and different? I dunno. Right now, I’m resisting—though sure, you can find me on Facebook and I think I’ve tweeted about six times. But I mourn what we’re losing because once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.

A few weeks ago I attended a bookstore event in Middleburg, Virginia videoed by a young reporter for washingtonpost.com. Naively I asked how long the link would be available, remembering how in the past some of my news stories would drift into that hole in cyberspace where broken links went to die. He blinked and stared at me. “Forever,” he said. “It’ll be there forever.”

Later an author friend explained how to post that video to Facebook. “Go to the article online,” she wrote, “and click on ‘Tools.’ It asks where you want to send the link. Click on Facebook and, voila, it’s there on your page. Doesn’t even ask your name because it knows who you are. Scary, huh?” Yeah, real scary.

As part of this individualized promotion gig—and because there are so many of us out there—we’re reaching for what’s new and different, opening doors to our lives, places we once considered off-limits, in an effort to get you readers to pay attention . . . or just to find us. Last spring I filmed a (very) brief video for Simon & Schuster answering questions about my favorite movie, favorite place, and wished-for talent. Fun stuff, a bit of fluff, all part of S&S’s new “Author Revealed” website. But I’ve decided to draw a line beyond which I won’t go in this whole promotion thing; parts of my life are private and there’s such a thing as Too Much Me.

As August 4 rolls around, I’m excited about getting out there and spending time with folks, after a year of living in my head alone in my office. Nothing virtual: real meetings, real people. In the meantime, I’m still wrestling with Facebook and Twitter. Guess I’d better get used to it; next year could be a whole new world . . . again.

***********************
Ellen Crosby is the author of The Merlot Murders, The Chardonnay Charade, The Bordeaux Betrayal, and The Riesling Retribution. Visit her web site for more information, and if you're on Facebook, please be her friend.

The Dreaded Book Tour

By Vicki Delany, guest blogger


Before I became a writer I imagined the book tour as follows:

· T day minus one month – Receive schedule of appearances from publisher.
· T Day minus three weeks – Receive airline tickets and hotel reservations from publisher.
· T Day minus two weeks – Shop for suitable clothes for appearances.
· T Day minus two weeks – Send receipts for new clothes to publisher.
· T Day minus one week – Receive list of newspaper and radio interviews from publisher.
· T Day minus two days – Check ink levels in good pen.
· T Day minus one day – Pack suitcase and go to bed early.
· T Day – Be ready on time for limo pickup for drive to airport.
· Duration of Book Tour: Have fun, meet people and talk about books and writing.

Now that I am a writer, I know that the book tour goes as follows:

· T Day minus 6 months - Send introductory e-mail to every bookstore and library in target area.
· T Day minus 5.5 months – Follow up every e-mail with telephone call.
· T Day minus 5.5 months to T-Day minus 1 month -- Follow up phone call with another phone call. Repeat.
· T Day minus 3 months – Notice that book store A is 8 hours drive from book store B, and the signing at bookstore A finishes one half hour before the signing at book store B begins.
· T Day minus 3 months – Juggle appearances on three days surrounding screw-up mentioned above.
· T Day minus 1 month – Write date and time on postcards for bookstores to hand out.
· T Day minus 2 weeks – Go on Internet to arrange car rental. Be shocked at the cost.
· T Day minus 1 week – See doctor for hand cramp caused by all that writing on postcards.
· T Day minus 6 days – Go to bank to withdraw cash for trip.
· T Day minus 6 days – PANIC.
· T Day minus 5 days – Receive notice from airline that flight has been rescheduled. It now leaves at 3:45 AM.
· T Day minus 2 days – Try on suitable clothes for being centre of attention. Suck in belly. Sigh heavily.
· T Day – Get up early; drive to airport; pay enormous amount for long-term parking; wait hours to board plane; wait more hours for plane to depart.
· Duration of Book Tour: Have fun, meet people and talk about books and writing.

Vicki and Deborah Turrell Atkinson are visiting Hawaii and the western U.S. to promote their new mysteries, Valley of the Lost and Pleasing the Dead. Details can be found at Booktour (www.booktour.com/author/vicki_delany) Vicki’s trailer for Valley of the Lost is on Youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOJ4m391LZQ

Ten Ways To Help You Keep Your Writing Resolutions

by Darlene Ryan

Whether your New Year's resolution is to write in more depth, more detail or just write more words here are ten ways to help you meet your goals.

Having problems plotting?
1. Kris Neri teaches classes for the Writers Program of the UCLA Extension School (www.uclaextension.edu). And she’s the author of the Tracy Eaton mysteries.

2. Laura Baker and Robin Perini’s novel building technique, Discovering Story Magic, is “a three-step method to writing a story they can’t refuse.” Robin and Laura have taught their process at workshops and writing events across the country.

3. Literary agent Donald Maas teaches workshops throughout the year based on his book, Writing the Breakout Novel.

Stuck on the dreaded synopsis?

4. Shelia Kelly aka Lynn Viehl, aka S.L. Viehl, aka Rebecca Kelly, aka Jessica Hall, has sold more than three dozen books including the popular Darkyn and Star Doc series.

St. Martin’s Press sponsors four contests for mystery and suspense writers.

5. a. St. Martin’s Minotaur/Malice Domestic Competition for the best first traditional mystery novel,
b. Best Private Eye Novel Competition sponsored by St Martin’s Press and the Private Eye Writers of America,
c. Hillerman Mystery Contest sponsored by St Martin’s Press and the Tony Hillerman Writers conference,
d. St. Martins Minotaur/Mystery Writers of America First Crime Novel competition

Should you blog? Do you need a website? Should you give away free copies of your book?

6. J.A. Konrath is the author of the Lt. Jacqueline Daniels thrillers. Check out his free e-book of Market tips on his website.

7. Marketing guru Seth Godin writes the most popular marketing blog in the world. His book, Unleashing the Idea Virus, is the most popular e-book ever written with more than 2 million copies downloaded.

Stuck on the details?

8. Lee Lofland is a veteran police investigator and expert on crime scene investigations and police procedures. Check out Lee’s blog, The Graveyard Shift.

9. For medical and forensics questions visit The Writers Medical and Forensics Lab, created by Dr. D.P. Lyle

Looking for help on where to put the commas or whether it’s “a lot” or “alot?”

10. Dr. Grammar is a website dedicated to helping writers.

Are conferences worth the money & time?

Sandra Parshall

A popular mystery writer once said that her agent told her she could either be a “conference slut” or she could pick one or two conferences to attend each year and spend the rest of her time at home, writing. She chose the second course, and it certainly hasn’t hurt her career.

I remember her words when I see a newly published writer struggling to attend as many conferences as possible and still get the next book written.

As I wrote last week, mystery conferences are fun, and they give us a chance to see friends and take a break from the isolation of writing. But the number being offered is staggering. Some are strictly for fans, with published authors trying to be entertaining enough in their panel performances to send the audience first to the book room, then to the signing line. Others are aimed at aspiring writers who want to learn from published writers – and again, the authors participate in the hope of selling some books and making themselves better known.

In virtually every case, writers have to pay their own way. A lot of mystery writers out there, especially first-time authors, are spending their entire advances and much more on travel and conference fees. It seems to make sense – after all, if you don’t get a rave review in the New York Times and your publisher won’t buy big splashy ads for your book, you have to get the word out somehow, don’t you?

But does it benefit the average writer’s career if she turns up at half a dozen or more conferences every year? Will she sell many books at those conferences, or will she always sit at her signing table, twirling a seldom-used pen and watching the bestselling author across the room autograph tall stacks of books? I don’t know the answers, not even for myself, since Malice Domestic and Bouchercon are pretty much it for me.

I’d like to hear from other writers – and fans – about this.

If you’re a writer, how have you chosen the conferences you attend? Do you think those appearances have given your career a boost? Do conferences take you away from your writing?

If you’re a fan, do you feel as if you see too many of the same writers year after year, or do you look forward to seeing familiar faces? Have you discovered any new-to-you writers at these events?

For both writers and fans: Which conferences are on your must-go lists, and why?

Learning Today’s Publishing While U Wait

Elizabeth Zelvin

I first said I wanted to be a writer in 1951. I got my first rave rejection, for a children’s story, in 1970. (“So the next sentence should be an offer of contract. Unfortunately, Mr. Nixon…the economy….” Some things never change. And some things a writer never forgets.) I had an agent but failed to sell three mystery manuscripts in 1975 or so. I began my current journey toward publication in 2002, and my mystery came out just ten days ago.

What’s changed in publishing since 1951, or even 1991? What hasn’t changed? Small companies that cherished their authors and readers have become conglomerates focused on the bottom line as calculated by computers. Some have stopped publishing mysteries as a result. I know personally at least two award-nominated authors whose series have died because houses whose names were synonymous with mysteries—Walker for hardcovers, Pocket Books for paperbacks—stopped putting out that kind of book.

Thanks to the Internet, I know dozens, perhaps hundreds of mystery writers trying to break into print. I was one of them for five years between completing the first draft and getting an offer for Death Will Get You Sober. The process is rigorous and discouraging. The odds against are enormous. The pool of writers is vast and the pool of publishers small, even including small presses. My mantras throughout those five years were, “Talent, persistence, and luck,” and, “Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle.” May you never experience such a long five minutes!

Waiting was agony, and so were the many, many rejections. It was hard not to take them personally, even though thanks to the Internet I was in touch with others getting the same scribbled notes on their query letters, the same coffee-stained manuscripts returned; even though, in the long run, I came to agree with and learn from some of the criticisms offered.

Looking back, however, I can see that not a single day of that interminable wait was truly wasted. I used it to learn the craft of today’s mystery writing, which differs from the standards of twenty-five years ago in structure and pace and point of view and how people interact and what’s a viable motive for murder among other elements. And I served a priceless apprenticeship—in Mystery Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, e-lists like DorothyL and Murder Must Advertise, and social networks like CrimeSpace—in the business of 21st century publishing.

As a result, I'm arriving on the field well equipped to beat the odds. Will I succeed? As Dick Francis has written, anything can happen in a horse race. The same is true of the gamble of mystery publishing. But at least I’m not starting out with blinders on. I find that when well-meaning friends offer suggestions or ask questions, I can bring a lot of knowledge to my answers. Just a few:

Q. Why don’t you go on Oprah?
A. That would be great—do you know anyone who has a contact with her? You can’t send her your book—it doesn’t work that way. She has to find it for herself.

Q. I’ll wait for the paperback to come out.
A. Unfortunately, if we don’t sell enough of the hardcover, the publisher won’t bring out a paperback. The book will go out of print, and in most cases, no other publisher will take the series.

Q. What about John Grisham and J.K. Rowling?
A. The odds are about the same as winning the lottery.

Q. The publisher doesn’t arrange your book tour?
A. No, not for a debut fiction author unless you’re a celebrity or have written a blockbuster. But that doesn’t mean the publisher’s publicity department does nothing. My publicist at St. Martin’s has worked actively with me to sell the book to booksellers, make sure reviewers get it, and make the most of any kind of hook so I’ll stand out from the crowd.

Q. Isn’t MySpace just for kids?
A. Not at all. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the process of building up to 1160 friends on MySpace. They include fellow writers, mystery lovers, and people in recovery from alcoholism, other addictions, and codependency—the very people who might get a kick out of Death Will Get You Sober. There’s a culture and a community on MySpace, and it’s fascinating. You can learn so much about people—their interests, their dreams, their heroes—as well as what they read and whether they drink. What a great way to find readers!

It helps to be a little crazy...

Sandra Parshall

Have you ever seen a farmer standing next to the broccoli in a supermarket, extolling the virtues of his product to shoppers and begging them to purchase a stalk or two?

It’s an odd concept, but is it any weirder than seeing a writer in a bookstore, trying to sell her books one copy at a time?

I can’t think of any other profession that requires so much direct salesmanship from the person who creates an item for public consumption. Sure, actors and directors go on TV and give print interviews to promote new movies, but they don’t stand outside theaters and try to persuade passersby to purchase tickets. Promoting the movie is primarily the job of the production company that packages it and gets it into theaters. When a book is published, though, the burden of selling it shifts to the writer, usually at the writer’s expense. If the book tanks, it’s the author’s fault.

Writing books is a strange pursuit. You might complete half a dozen or more novels before you actually sell one. When you do finally make that breakthrough, the odds are you’ll receive a small advance against royalties, no more than a few thousand dollars in compensation for the year or more that went into the writing. You won’t receive another payment until your book has earned back the advance and begun to make a profit – if it ever does.

Most publishers expect writers to do bookstore signings and maintain a web site, at a minimum. Writing a blog and creating an “internet presence” on sites like MySpace is also rapidly becoming a requirement. Genre writers are urged to travel to conferences – which can cost $1,000 or more each when you add in transportation, lodging, and meals – to meet fans and spread the word about their books. Ironically, only authors who are paid large advances receive financial help with promotion from their publishers, and even then only the cost of a book tour will be covered. The unknown writer with a small advance usually must take on the full expense of promotion. That small advance rapidly vanishes, and the writer may soon find herself paying for the privilege of being published. Promotion also eats into the time that an author would otherwise devote to writing, and that makes it harder to finish the next book on schedule.

Every time a survey of writers’ incomes is conducted, only a fraction of novelists report that they earn enough from their books to live on. Small wonder, then, so many work at salaried jobs to pay the bills or do various kinds of journalism or business writing to generate income. It’s not at all unusual for a novelist to work a day job, write at night and on weekends, somehow fit in book signings and conferences, write a blog, and maintain a web site with frequent additions of fresh material. Oh, and family life fits in there somewhere too.

So why would anybody want to write a novel? The most common answer authors give is, “I write because I can’t not write.” It’s a compulsion and an obsession. It’s a joyous act of self-expression. It’s a journey of imagination that takes you away from the mundane world for a few hours at a time. It’s a chance to assert control over events, to make a story come out exactly the way you want it to.

If writing is such a personal thing, why do we go through the ego-wrecking process of trying to get our work published, then trying to sell it to the public? Why can’t the writing be its own reward? I wish it could be, and I wish I fully understood why it isn’t. All I know is that a writer needs readers to make the last link in the creative circle. A story that is never read by anyone other than its author is incomplete. It’s a bird singing in an empty forest.

And so we go on writing, hoping that some stranger in a publishing company will like our work enough to invest in it, praying that it will find readers, knowing the financial rewards are likely to be meager. We write because we must, and for those hours when we’re alone with our evolving stories and characters, that is reason enough.

Buy This Book!

by Darlene Ryan

The publishing industry much like television networks and movie studios, uses endorsements as a way to entice you to buy their product. Sometimes that endorsement is a positive comment from a well-known publication like Publisher’s Weekly, Romantic Times or People. Sometimes it’s a recommendation from a respected author who writes in the same genre. For example, Karen E. Olson’s Day of the Dead has an endorsement from Lee Child. Carrie Vaughn’s Kitty Goes to Washington is recommended by Charlaine Harris.

The right words from the right person can give a tremendous boost to a writer’s career--just ask any author whose book has been picked for Oprah Winfrey’s book club.

“Brilliant use of paragraphs!”

The first place to start is with your editor. See if she’s planning for ask anyone for a recommendation before you do it.

Next, talk to your agent. He may have the connections to get your book into the hands of the author who inspired you to start writing or the one whose own book is burning up the bestseller lists.

“Outstanding chapter breaks!”

Some writers don't mind asking other writing friends for some good words about their book. But don’t put someone on the spot. Make the request in an email or a letter. And don’t hold a grudge if a friend says no.

If you write under more than one name don’t use one persona to endorse another. All that will do is make you fodder for every snarky blogger out there—including me.

Any kind of enticement from chocolate to cash is a bad idea. So is groveling. So is guilt. So is sucking-up. The best approach is a straightforward, professional request. Keep it short, polite and honest. Don't use the author’s first name if you don’t actually know her. And say thank-you.

“Great Spelling! Nice margins!”

Dear Ms Important Writer,

I'm writing to ask if you will consider reading my mystery novel, The Stalker, for a cover quotation. I would appreciate any recommendation you may decide to make for readers.

May I send you an advance reading copy?

Thank you.

Regards,

A. Newbie Author

Don’t lurk over the mailbox or your computer waiting for a response. Well-known writers get a ton of mail and they have deadlines, dentist visits, bad hair days and small children that projectile vomit. And remember, it may have been hard for you to ask, but it’s even harder to come up with a nice way to say no. So be gracious if you’re turned down. Follow-up with a thank you even if what you really want to say is, “Stick it in your ear you snotty hack!”

“This is definitely a book!”

And lastly, if the famous author does give you an endorsement don’t give his address to all your writing friends so they can ask for a plug for their books. (Not even if they offer you your body weight in chocolate.)

Promoting a new book, what works, what doesn't?

I've been sidelined with a code in my node the last few days. Since the day after Christmas, to be precise. But the show must go on. Or the promotion of my new book, again, to be more precise. And to give you a just a smidge of an idea how "out of it" I've been, I slid in here just now in a panic because I thought it was Friday and I was hours late posting this. Checked the handy little date/time thingy on my computer, heaved a sigh of relief. It's only Thursday as I write this. It will hopefully be Friday when I post it. Where was I? Promotion. Ack.



My new book, FIFTY-SEVEN HEAVEN just came out fifteen days ago. So between decorating, Christmas shopping, wrapping gifts, hosting or attending parties, chewing vitamin C (which obviously didn't work, sniffle, snort) finishing up my financial records for my accountant (who doubles as my daughter-in-law) I've been squeezing in promoting/selling my new book (which is playing havoc with the aforementioned financial records, sigh.)



Promoting a book in December is a double-edged sword. People buy books for Christmas gifts. Which is good. People are short of book money for themselves. Which is bad. And everyone is busy, including me, which makes it tough to shift their attention to a new book coming out. And there are those pesky financial figures to turn over to my accountant-slash-DIL. My biggest problem is figuring out WHERE to promote. Which promotion does the most good?



I already had a website set up with loads of information about my other books when this new book in a whole new series came out. (The link is on the left, in case you're curious.) I also have a personal blog and I blog here on Poe's Deadly Daughters, when I can remember what day of the week it is. And, yes, I have received a necessary nudge once or twice from my Poe sisters to remind me. Hubby and I already belonged to a national car club, AACA and a local chapter as well, a huge help since the book is about a couple who own an antique car. I've put up my own virtual "garage" on Edmunds Car Space and they featured me in their newsletter this month. I'm also on CrimeSpace, Squidoo, MyShelf and MySpace. Whew. Fifty-Seven Heaven received several good reviews, including Kirkus and Publisher's Weekly. I emailed my faithful readers when the book came out. I've got copies in two stores in Metropolis, IL, where I live, Hummas and the Metro Chamber of Commerce. I'm on Amazon and B&N.com among others. I belong to a ton of discussion lists about mysteries. Busy, me?



Next up, I'm about to try a virtual tour. Visiting and posting on various websites that are willing to host me, to see if I can get the word out. My book will be the book of the month in February on Mystery Most Cozy, an online group that discusses Cozy Mysteries. I'm also scheduled for two conferences in February, Love Is Murder in Chicago and Murder In The Magic City in Birmingham. And I'll be hosting a launch in January at the Metropolis Library and a signing at the West Frankfort, IL library. In other words I'll be hard at it throughout 2008, promoting Fifty-Seven Heaven.



But what works? Which of these might possibly rocket me to fame and fortune? Or at least sell enough books so Five Star will want to publish book number two in the proposed series, which I've already written, with fingers firmly crossed. Who knows?



But the thing is, authors HAVE to promote themselves to sell books, because publishers no longer do it for them, except the REALLY BIG publishing houses that sign authors so well known they don't even NEED promotion. But we have to be extremely careful how we promote our books because an awful lot of people have limits to what they will or won't tollerate from an author in the way of promotion. Let me give you an example. I've been following a discussion on Sisters In Crime about problems authors run into at book store signings. But let me digress a bit first . . . .



Many passersby, in response to an author asking: Do you like mysteries? will respond: I don't read. Ooookay, we wonder to ourselves, what are you doing in a bookstore? But we're too polite, not to mention too smart, to ask it outloud. We authors been given to understand that we should stand up at our signings, not sit down, maybe offer candy of some sort to draw attention, have an interesting table, make eye contact, ask politely if the passersby likes mysteries, but NOT accost the reader and pin them up against the nearest bookshelf, forcing a copy of the book into their hands and demanding they read chapter one before they will be allowed to proceed any further through the store. Okay, I can understand that. I don't like it, but I understand it. Sniff.



The discussion I mentioned above centers around what an author should do when the reader buttonholes her/him and begins asking questions, effectively blocking the author's signing table and making it difficult for other buyers to nab a signed copy of the author's book. Solution to that? A friend or store manager to help out. IF you can get one. I have learned that bringing someone along to my signings to handle: money, stranger-than-usual passersby, and the table itself when I need a potty break is KEY to having any kind of book signing. Key.



Back to promotion in general. What in the varity of options works for an author? Internet presence (websites, blogs, discussion lists, newsletters, emailings)? Book store signings? Library appearances? Mailing out postcards or first chapters? Newsletters? Handing out bookmarks and chapters? Word of mouth?



So far as I can tell, and I'm no expert, they all work . . . to a degree. Word of mouth, someone buttonholing their friends with the words: You simply MUST read this book, I loved it. THAT is the very best promition of all, and it's something we have absolutely no control over, except for writing the best book possible. As for the other options, as I said, they do work, to a degree. The trick is to use them to make others aware of your books BUT somehow not overdoing it. Getting our name in the reader's mind but not getting in their face. It's tricky and a VERY fine line to walk. The author needs balance.



Soooo, DO any of you folks like to read mysteries? Chocolate covered cherries, anyone? What's that? Oh, yes, the bathroom is located right there, on the back wall of the book store. Thanks for stopping by. Anybody got a tissue?

Psst! Want a Hot Deal on a Good Book?

Sandra Parshall

You know those sidewalk peddlers who try to make you believe they're selling you a real Rolex for twenty bucks? Sometimes I think a little-known writer selling books is the literary equivalent.

Sure, you’re offering people something in exchange for their money, and you think it’s something valuable, but you have to persuade the customer to see it that way. They’ve never heard of you or your book, and some will wonder out loud whether you’re self-published. Worst case scenario is that you end up feeling as if you should be paying them to read what you’ve written.

Before I published my first novel, The Heat of the Moon, last year, I had no idea how much emotional and physical stamina a simple two-hour booksigning required. Try smiling nonstop for two hours and see if you’re not exhausted afterward. Try giving the same pitch two dozen times in two hours and see if you don’t feel like retiring to a nice quiet padded cell.

You go to every signing with high hopes, and the first thing you want to see is your table set up in a good location. Bookstore managers are busy people, and they don’t have time to totally rearrange their merchandise to create an optimal space for a visiting writer. (Why aren’t such spaces built into the store design? An unanswerable question.) So you have to count yourself lucky if you don’t end up at a table in the storeroom. Count yourself positively blessed if you’re somewhere near the front door, in the line of foot traffic. Of course, you’ll get exasperated looks from customers who see you as a hindrance on their path to the coffee bar, but if you smile and persist some people will stop, listen to your pitch, maybe ask questions, and, in the best of all possible outcomes, even buy a book.

Those who have never done a booksigning and have only attended signings by bestselling authors may wonder what I’m talking about. What pitch? Stephen King doesn’t pitch his book to every customer at signings. People come in droves and line up out the door for the privilege of buying a signed book. And if he smiles at you, wow, but he’s probably not sitting there for hours with a grin plastered on his face. He doesn’t have to. I do. Most writers do. We don’t bring in crowds, so we have to work hard at attracting the attention of passing customers and making our books sound like something they absolutely must own.

I’ve even given my pitch to a ten-year-old girl, who confessed that she loves reading about crime and watching shows like CSI (I like this kid), but her mother places onerous restrictions on her viewing and reading. I sent her to the children’s mystery section. She came back a few minutes later with a book in hand and asked if I thought it would be good. I saw that it was a Newberry winner and assured her she would enjoy it. Maybe in another ten years she’ll come to a signing and buy one of my books. I’ve also pitched my novels to people who seemed captivated and vowed to get the books from the library and read them asap. (They only came in the bookstore to buy a computer software manual. Hardcover novels are too expensive.)

Multiply all this effort three or four times and you have an idea of what it’s like for a relatively unknown writer at a big book festival. Envision a huge room filled with long rows of tables, a dozen or more writers at each. Customers drift down the aisles, sliding their gaze over the stacks of books and carefully avoiding eye contact with the smiling, hopeful writers. You can try to lure them closer by speaking to them, but the place will be so noisy that they can easily pretend not to hear. Dozens of people may pass before anyone thinks your books are worth stopping to examine. Some customers will want to talk to you, but many will ignore you as they pick up a book and read the jacket copy. If you see “the look” forming, you can forget about a sale. (“The look” resembles that open-mouthed, curled-lip thing cats do when they smell something revolting.) Your precious novel, the one you spent a year or more of your life bleeding onto the page, is hastily dropped back on the stack and the non-customer breaks a speed record in distancing herself from it.

When you first start doing booksignings, you feel the urge to be all things to all readers. Does someone want romance? Yes, yes, my book has romance! Does someone else want a lot of action? I swear my characters never have time to breathe! Whatever the customer wants, you rashly promise.

Then one day you find before you a woman in a plain cotton dress that covers her legs to the ankles, her arms to the wrists, and her torso to just below the ears. Her hair is pulled back into a tight little knot, and her face has never been altered by makeup. She sternly inquires whether your book has any “bad words” in it. Well, uh... You frantically run through your cast of characters, reviewing their language, wondering if damn and hell count, and wondering just how many times you used the more offensive four-letter words. Looking into the woman’s unforgiving face, you realize that everything will count to her, and even once will be too much. “Yes,” you admit, “my book has bad words in it.”

As you watch her turn on her heel and walk away, you feel redeemed. No sale, but you told the truth and you didn’t even smile when you did it. This feels good.

But wait, here comes another prospect. Smile! Make eye contact! Prepare to pitch!

A Chat with J.A. Konrath

Julia Buckley
















Thanks for talking with me.

Do people ever try to guess what your initials stand for? James Anthony? Joshua Albright? Jonathan Abelard?

They stand for Joseph Andrew, though if you talk to my wife she’ll tell you they’re short for a synonym of ‘donkey.’

Wives tend to be right most of the time. The name Konrath sounds Hungarian, like Namath and Horvath. Do you have Slavic roots?

Konrath is Austrian and/or German. I don’t know much about my ancestors, but I believe that I was somehow descended from them. That’s only a guess, by the way.

Your protagonist is a woman named Jack Daniels, and the titles of your books are all the names of drinks: Whiskey Sour, Rusty Nail, Bloody Mary. Is it a challenge, as a teetotaler, to come up with these titles? :)

A lot of research goes into every title. At least, that’s what I’m telling the IRS.

You recently went on a much-publicized 500-store (actually 612) book tour to promote Rusty Nail. How did that work out for you? Are you able to measure the results by the piles of diamonds, rubies and emeralds in your secret vault?

I was gone for 68 days, hence my wife’s nickname for me. It wasn’t easy, but I found it very effective. I met over 1400 booksellers, and thanked all of them in the acknowledgements of DIRTY MARTINI, coming out June 2007.Results are tough to gauge, but I believe, with all of my effort, I sold five or six extra books.

Seriously, though, you are seen as an expert in the realm of promotion. Do you have a background in sales? What sorts of jobs have you had in your life?

I was a bartender. Go figure.

I also was a bookseller for a few years, which I loved.

I began to learn about marketing and promotion the hard way---by getting published. But it’s amazing how much you can pick up if you’re paying attention. For example, I just picked up a quarter I found on the floor.

What are you writing now? How would you say your time is divided between writing and promotion? Is one more difficult than the other?

I just finished a stand alone that my agent is going to shop around, and now I’m working on the fifth Jack Daniels thriller, FUZZY NAVEL.But I only spend about 10% of my professional life writing. Mostly, it’s promotion. And that’s definitely harder.

You edited the newly-released anthology, These Guns for Hire. How did you make the leap from author to editor? Did you enjoy the process?

I have a lot of author friends, and I thought it would be fun to pester them incessantly for hit-man stories.

It was. The collection is wonderful. You need to buy a copy, right now. Visit www.thesegunsforhire.com to learn more about it.

You mentioned on a panel at Love is Murder that no one can get into one of your anthologies unless they buy you a beer, and you’ve already told me that I can’t just send you the money. :) What if a wonderful writer lives far from you, in New Zealand, and has not the option of buying you a beer? Can they send you cyber champagne?

If they want it bad enough, they’ll hop on a plane.

You wrote on your blog recently that you are going to be taking a vacation and putting your workaholic tendencies aside. While on that vacation, will you be visiting bookstores?

Absolutely not. I need a break from all the promotion. Vacation will be dedicated to spending time with my family, and stopping in a few libraries for quick speeches.

I assume you're kidding about that last part. Have you always been a workaholic?

No. I’m actually pretty lazy. I love lounging. I’m very good at it.

Unfortunately, no one wants to pay me to lounge around.

What are you reading right now?

I’m blurbing. Just finished MARKED BY FATE by Laura Bradford, and am halfway through ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS by JT Ellison.

Both are excellent, and I’m not just saying that because the authors bought me beer.

Do you make long-term plans? Do you have a plan for the Jack Daniels series? Will there be a new series with a new protagonist in the future?

No plans. I would like to do some spin off series, but not with my characters. Think Lee Child would let me do a Reacher book?

Maybe if you bought him a beer?

What was your first publication? Do you remember your reaction to finding out you were published?

Whiskey Sour was my first sale. I was pretty pleased, because I’d had over 500 rejections at that point for nine previous novels. Both my wife and I began to scream in joy, and a neighbor called up because they thought I was murdering her.

You’ve met a whole lot of authors at book conferences. Is there an author out there somewhere that you’ve never met but would like to meet? If so, who is it?

I haven’t met Robert B. Parker yet, and I’d like to someday.

I’d also like to meet John D. MacDonald, but he isn’t much into conversation lately.

What’s the farthest you’ve gone (geographically) to promote your books?

I drove over 17,000 miles on my last tour, to 29 states.


Your website is quite a labyrinth of information, puzzles, and special offers. Did you create it yourself?

Yeah, I do my own website. I’m pleased with the content, not so pleased with the visuals.

How can people find out more about you and your books?

They can ask my mom.

Thanks for speaking with me, Joseph Arthur.

You’re welcome, Juliette. :)